TOUR JOURNAL 2003

I headed for Florida after the New Year to get to started on the boatyard trip, take up where I left off with the steel boat dry-stored in a yard in central Florida and the Hurley moored on the east coast near Stuart. Though I made it down to the boats, a job for the family came up. I ended up flying back to DC, driving my sister's truck to Texas, then flying back. Not a big deal, but a few weeks were used up by the time I was back at the boats. Then I had to make a major change in plans as the place I had stored the steel boat wasn't good for working on it, but I found a small yard right by Stuart. It looked like great luck, though it turned out to be a nightmare, unfortunately. In fact, that seemed a common theme that spring, things that looked good, but ended up soured by some screwed up people. I endured and focused on the work I had to do, but all in all, it hurt me to be abused more by evil people like that. Also, I had a big, hard job to do, and didn't need extra burdens, distractions, and discouragements. Dogs snapping at my heels as I try to get somewhere.

But the story...

I did a temporary patch job on the keel at the storage yard in mid-state, launched and motored the steelboat to Stuart, then pulled the boat again at the new yard. It was mid-March when I finally got started on the job. For three months I was in the boatyard working to my limit, which is saying a lot. In fact, I was probably redlining more than is good for me. More significant though, was that it was an unnecessarily bad situation, doing me no good. I need to avoid stress, and normally, I actually enjoy working on boats. Thos was the boatyard from hell. First they had some loser punk working there who kept harrassing me. It stopped being tolerable when I got ripped off for $200 by one of the guys who worked there, while I was laid out with the flu. The next time one of them tried to give me some lip, I made them regret it. Then had it out with the segundo, to the unnegotiable point that I didn't want to be bothered or even talk to anyone there except him or the boss, period. I did the whole big, hard job in a state of siege and atmosphere of hostility. It was the boatyard from hell, to tell the truth, though I remained amazingly steadfast and resolute, and civil, while I worked hard and did good work, and replaced the keel on a 28' steel hull, then painted everything. When I was delayed (I also was in a spot that flooded regularly trying to do a job the required me to lay on the ground and weld, and had my new compressor break down twice the first week I used it) I did more welding on the topsides, and similiar work I could have postponed. I presevered. Evenings I would sit under the boat and play guitar while my dinner cooked. I actually wrote a couple new songs. Every evening I listened to the trains as the passed by just a block away, the horns blasting and echoing through the night. Finally I was done.

I also got suckered into setting up my studio at a local "music academy" with promises of a place to work, and musicians to work with, and potential high-end gigs, but it turned out to be smoke and mirrors, and so many distractions I never got anything done of my own, and just got taken advantage of. I won't go into the details, but it certainly wasn't good for me. The academy promoter convinced me to refinish the dulcimer to get the high-end gigs (which never materialized). I dismantled the dulcimer for repairs and the sanding and finishing I'd never given it. I'd always planned to build another one and make it "pretty", but that hadn't happened. So I compromised and finished the one I have, and it does look like a new dulcimer. Though I worked like crazy to get out of Florida by the end of June, and did, I missed playing the July 4th weekend, a major loss, with the dulcimer still in pieces for a refinishing that I couldn't complete in time.

A couple weeks in Virginia, then I was off for Alaska. It starts to seem ridiculous as I tell it quick, like some strange comedy where I persevere, moving mountains in a whirlwind while beset by fools and knaves. A nutcase greenhorn canadian immigrations agent (example: they didn't understand why I had to go through Canada to get to Alaska) held me up a day and half at the border. They were sure I planned to work in Canada. I ended up hardly being able to sleep in Canada! The delay used up my scheduled sleep and turned a basic road-trip into an almost non-stop drive on less than easy roads to get to the state fair on time. I did it, I always do, it seems; but it is nothing I'm particularly proud of... over the line riskiness. But I was pissed, and had a show to do, and I keep my word. I did. But it was well past being funny at that point. In fact, it had stopped being funny about a week into the boatyard trip.

Alaska. Beautiful Alaska. So glad to be there, amid cooler people and wildlands. I played the Fairs, The State Fair in Fairbanks and Deltana in Delta Junction. I made it to the Brooks Range again, though not for as long as I'd have liked.. got snowed out after 8 days. But I made it, actually getting the van up the into the mountains, though I had a time getting out! Got enough gold to make expenses, and one nugget to show around, good enough. Moved a lot of dirt and lived in the wildands I love, even if it wasn't long enough. The main point was proving Dave and I could drive up from the new homestead in Delta Junction (he used to live up in the Brooks Range) and still break even, pay expenses, while having a chance at better. For hom it was proving that gaining the homestead in Delta Junction didn;t mean having to give up the Brooks Range. If I'd had time, I could have been recording there out of the van, my long held dream. The point is still that it worked, so I can go there regularly, and stay longer where I want to go, since it is more in time and energy than I could otherwise justify just for a break from the music. i could go anywhere for just a break, but this is the area I was drawn to when I first came to Alaska, and though it is farther away and harder to get to, being able to dig some gold and pay the expenses and maybe more, elevates it above other, closer places I could go.

A bigger accomplishment was I kept following through on my resolutions and bought my first piece of property, 5 acres adjoining my friend's property in Delta Junction, with a small wildlife reserve on the other side. It has power and friends to keep an eye on anything I leave, though I actually will have to spend less time in Alaska to be able to pay for it, funny enough. Its more a long term investment, as Alaska is one of the places I stay long enough to make a base worthwhile, even if it is just a place to store stuff, leave a road rig, and even build a cabin. Alaska is a place where I'd still have to travelling around to play or head into the bush. But this is a base, and I can even imagine it as just one of several around Alaska. On the other hand, permanent bases are still part of my long term plans, and while I have set them in motion by beginning to buy and pay for land, I don't want to be distracted by putting too much energy into building for the moment. There are other things that I want to focus on in the short term, like recording and gear, and travelling.

I also got accepted into the Alaska Artists in the Schools program. It's no guarantee of a job, just places me in the catalog, but they only make a new one every few years, so it was good to get into this one now. It potentially means a way to stay in Alaska longer, by getting paid to teach. More important to me, it would pay to send me out to places I can never afford to get to on my own, in the great majority of Alaska that is unaccessable by road. Even if I could afford the travel, I need to justify it, and teaching is one of my primary goals, annually and in my life, so it justifies a lot of efforts I make. But I am still practically rather limited on how much I can afford to spend to volunteer, and that's just the way it is. AIS could change that, for Alaska at leas.t

On the flip side, the starter went out on the van, very luckily when I was parked off the side of my friend's driveway, can't ask for more than that! But it meant I wasn't able to go places for a few weeks, which is very significant when you only have a month to do anything. Since I couldn't do much e-mail work (which reqiored a trip to town), I tried to work through the district level to arrange my annual round of volunteer shows in the schools. Big mistake, I should have known Anchorage area was too much like the lower 48 for that to work. So between the van breakdown and having no schoolshows except in Fairbanks and Delta, I had to give up my usual loop down to the coast to volunteer in the schools and senior centers, visit friends, do shows at some coffeehouses, etc. A big dissappointment, to make it all the way to Alaska, and not make well, yeah, another 1000 mile loop, and end up missing friends and places I came a long way to see. Like I said, an abbreviated year. For all the things I did, and the distance travelled, and places I did go; it felt like I really missed a lot this year.

I didn't make it to Seattle and the West coast though, again. It was a disappointment, like Alaska, so close but not close enough. Frankly, I could not afford the gas money. I ended up $1100 in the hole when I did my accounts this year, an exceptionally bad year. Not bad considering all the expenses at the boatyard, but more, just not working all Winter and Spring because I was busy working the boat and the music school fiasco. Driving to Alaska is not cost effective either, but that, like the boatyard, is temporary, till I can leave the van up there and fly back and forth. I manage to do it all on the cheap, but there are limites, so I raided my saving, or it would have been worse. So no, it wasn't a good year economically, though I am hoping that I've finally turned the corner, once I can get the first CD out. There was no way to justify a trip to Seattle, too late in the year for fests or even the street. So it goes. I sometimes wonder if I am just not up to the travelling I used to do. More realistically, the fact is that maybe I can only do so much. Taking on the promise to record and produce CDs, setting up the studio to do it, starting to producing electric dulcimers, and trying to "do more" with my music.. well, something has to give in balancing the limits of time and energy. Or maybe once I'm past all the up-front expenses of vehicles and boats and equipment and CD production, and focus on playing enough, I'll be able to manage the travelling and come out well ahead, just like I used to.

Another major issue is that, though I had the gear set up in the van and set up in various places along the way, the fact is I did not get the new CD done in the year between visits to Joe's. Sure, it was a bad year for getting anything done with a huge project like the boatyard trip involved, but I still have to face the facts. I believe in giving things a chance if possible, real world time, and using hindsight. Though I also have to remember that this year was not "business as usual" and really not an adequate measure for the success of any pattern. Even hindsight is not always clear and simple.

Still, that's the reasoning behind a major conclusion, to spend more time in fewer places and focus my energy on the things I need to get done, and when I travel, to stop driving so much and fly instead. Maybe just till I get caught up, maybe as a permanent change. Quite frankly, the drive down from Alaska, so late in the season, is just stressfull and seriously dangerous. Even with my ability to pull off some pretty hairy stunts when pressed, its just not worth the risk. The consequences are too dire, stress is something I need to avoid, and the chances that probabilities will catch up to me sooner or later are too great. After the drives I made this time, both up and down, it borders on ridiculous to keep doing it if I can chose any other way. Not to mention, I am just driving so hard with no time to stop that it hardly seems to make sense anymore. I used to have time to stop and enjoy places along the way. Though I made it, following my routine circuit again Florida to Alaska, from the boats to DC to the Alaska state fair to the mountains north of the Arctic Circle to recording "somewhere in Montana", playing a bunch of schoolshows along the way, and getting back to DC in time for xmass.

Basically, I need to do whatever it takes to focus on the music again, and get some recording completed and produced, which probably means settling down (relatively) till I've gotten the major projects either completed or rolling. Then I can see what else I can do with whatever time is left. Probably the only practical place is at the family home in Virginia/DC area. I still have responsibilities there to see to, and the house needs work, and I am still a serious help for my sister and ma. Its easy to fly out for short trips to go wherever else I need to go, like Alaska, and for much less money, time, energy, and wear & tear, than driving. Though I'm buying land other places for the long run, it will be years before there is anyplace to live and work there, and frankly, there probably isn't enough work either in Alaska or Montana musically speaking. I miss the desert Southwest and the breadth of travelling I used to do, so I won't give it up forever by any means. In fact, I want to travel more, but only in the context of performing and teaching, of service. In DC, I have a place I can set up the studio and work immediately, with phone and internet, and a long street season in a fairly good street scene, though it really isn't that great a town musically, compared to some. Since a primary focus is on world touring and teaching, though, DC is also an obvious place to make personal contact with official and private international and national connections. Though many years ago I came to the conclusion that if it wasn't for family, I would personally stay out west (except if someone asked me to do a show) and head for someplace other than Florida for the winter. Though there isn't much of a obvious folk music scene here, given time, I may be able to work into the private party scene that is the probably the best potential for me. In DC, if you don't play in a barband, there's not much other than "national act" venues like the Kennedy Center and the Birchmere, not for an area this big, except the street. I am also much more likely to get to Seattle, and make money from the trip to Alaska, by flying instead of driving. I need to get into flight-ready mode for international touring anyway, instead of rooted hard in a vehicle, or any one place. Yet all I can do is focus single-mindedly on the music and do what seems best to serve that purpose.

So! Right now I am still at the family place well into February finishing the first CD. I know I am not studio engineer, even if I have some of the best gear to do it with. But I can't wait to learn, and good enough is good enough. What I am producing is way better than the CDS I have, and I'll only get the experience I need by doing it. So here we go. My philosophy is also contrary to the status quo (what a suprise), in that I don't need or intend to achieve some "definitive" recording of a song. That is one more industry-driven fallacy. I intend to keep making recordings of the same songs that I like to do, just like the Dead, recording many different versions as time goes by and the music evolves. That is reality, and a better portrayal of both the songs and my music.

Otherwise, I play the piano each morning and work on the house, ma's computer, babysitting, and I did another schoolshow. The van made it all the way here and broke down in the driveway, for which I am sooo thankful. Old rigs break down, it is the nature of the life. It is great to have a rig that makes it and loses it when I am where I need to be, with time and a good place to make repairs. So I'm working on that. I've take down the tree and cleaned up after xmass, get ready to head south. I am trying to catch up on correspondence and internet work. It is 2 am and I have to sleep.

So...Not a good year. It was hard, disappointing, severe, and I lost money, something I am not used to doing or comfortable with no matter the justifications. But it was not terrible at all, just hard, and that is fine with me, compared to some years I've lived through. There is a big difference and a hard year is just a hard year, and doesn't bother me that much at all. It's all a matter of perspective. It's just like the fact that after a few good near-death experiences, you tend to lighten up on the small stuff. I still did a lot, though I missed a lot of small though important things, and feel that loss. The small things add a lot more to the quality of life and experience than any direct significance to any specific accomplishment. Just like having time to stop and take a hike in some beautiful random place along the road are the best parts of a long road trip though they have nothing to do with the purpose of the trip, and in the end, those little stops may contain some of the best experiences of the year. Still, I pulled off most of the major annual milestones and I made some major progress on some projects like bases, both land and the boats, my southern base. I made major progress on recording, even if I didn't finish last year, I am almost done with that first one now. Producing the first CD is so much effort and a learning process that I won't have to repeat for any of the rest to follow. I wrote a couple new songs. I made it around the circuit but felt like I missed more people and places than I got to. And now I'm off to do it again!